Choices to make

There's so many choices you have to make as a parent but I believe that as a 20 year old mom about to be 21 everyone is staring at you watching every move you make every word you say if the judge mental people could read your thoughts for sure they would be picked apart before you could finish your thought you know if your child goes out in a dirty onesie right after being feed you can feel the judgement people are passing just by the side way glances you get you can her them say "who would say how could that mother be so neglectful" or "she probably doesn't even pay attention to her lil girl" when in reality you've been running all day doing things to provide for your child but hey if they say a mother older with 1 or more kids it "bless her heart at least she managed to dress all her kids and get them out the door" now before you judge that I have no idea what I'm talking about I am the oldest sibling of four kids and only have 1 daughter myself but from my experience 1 lil girl is as hard as 4 i don't care who you are I think it's a miracle that any mom Sigler or married get anything dons and I'm surprised at how people without children can judge so hard you know if we're a 20 year old parent we have to be careful what we choose to do like how we choose to punish our children or award our children you know I always said I never wanted to parent my child like my parents did with me or any of my other siblings and I still feel that not that I think I can do better bcos I'll give it to them having four kids we each responded differently to punishment and so forth what worked with me sure did not work with the youngest of us so I don't want to do better I want to do differently from them but due to the judgementel people it's like walking on egg shells DCS went from want to help families to tearing them apart and I've seen parents my age who aren't together use it like a gun on the other person it makes you wonder why do you need to be judge how did our lives get to this point I just wish that with the choice I am faced to make that I don't do it based off of how I'm being judged bcos although the people watching me act as though they are important in reality they aren't what's important is what decide is in the best interest of my daughter 

Separate living

So my boyfriend who's my daughters father lives in a different town about a half hour from us he just got a new job 6 am to 2 pm it's a little crazy for him to work that schedule seeing how our daughter doesn't go to bed at 11 but also she's teething so she has a tendency to wake up in the night to be cuddled with so tonight we're going to go stay the night with him bcos he's got to be able to handle her an work it's a learning experience for all 3 of us I'm just hoping it all works out and that maybe our daughter will go to bed early on a fun note I don't know if everyone is built to be a parent but I truly believe that I was it it's honestly natural to me at least for now I'm not saying I'm perfect or that being a parent is easy I'm saying my calling card is being a care giver you know people always say that as you get older you'll find where you fit well I've never got anywhere till I had my daughter and it was like somebody put the last brick on the middle of the wall it all just came together but bcos I'm 20 many people tried encouraging me to give my baby up for adoption but would I no bcos it felt good and right to be having this child 

The dr made me laugh

So my daughter just turned 4 months old so we go to her apointment she's healthy weighs well then we get into the speach of solid food she's my first so I'm kinda lost on some stuff but my parents and my boyfriends parents kept saying give her cereal I did a couple weeks early than I was supposed to but my dr says that's wrong only fruits and veggies that people in their 40s believe  it's okay but actually it leads to obesse children gluten problems and just a long list of stuff so I feel a little bad for starting her early but hell she seems fine she weighs well I don't see the issue at least not now but damn the whole thing put my mom in a tizzy an it got worse when the dr said that a birthmark on my child could actually be a third nipple an as she grows  we will know more than its my daughter will get teeth at 6 months old haha wrong she's got two now so again my dr made me laugh I mean does everything cause obesity does staring at good food cause obesity what do I know I'm just a 20 year old mother with her first child

From the beginning!!

Hi my name is Samantha Gaines! I'm 20 I got pregnant almost 1 year and a month ago. I was starting out being independent wanting to make a name for myself. I had just started to date someone.we went from living in a hotel to living in a trailer to living with my parents. In December of 2015 I took a pregnancy test learned I was pregnant. Three days later I was bleeding I was having a miscarriage. My boyfriend was devastated I was horrified. All I ever wanted was a child. My boyfriend an I stayed together. Moved to my parents...in February we found that I was still pregnant. We did our own research to find that it was possible that we had twins and my body chose which one I would keep bcos i couldn't handle both children physically. My pregnancy wasn't easy with me being bipolar and having anxiety. When I gave birth to my beautiful 9 lbs 2 oz 20 in long baby girl my life became amazing but it was also like a train hit a break wall. Now it's 4 months later an I decided I needed to document my life journey I'm 20 not married but in a very complicated relationship. I live with my parents I'm half way to my GED diploma I have a 4 month old daughter. No job bipolar with learning disabilities this is my long unending journey!